A Comeback in the Making.

I read a quote somewhere recently that really spoke to me. I can’t actually remember where I saw it, but what it said was, “A setback is a comeback in the making.”

When I read it, I felt a surge of power course through my veins. “Yes, I thought. This is who I am.”

It feels as though the past couple of years have been setback after setback after setback. This has been particularly felt with the introduction of the virus and all the uncertainty that has landed with this. Just as we rise to meet one challenge, another challenge seems to be waiting right behind it. While I have personally experienced this most of my life, it does feel as though it has become much faster and more frequent in recent months.

At first, I found myself thinking, “What’s going on here? Am I completely off track? Why am I getting knocked from so many different angles. What am I doing wrong?” Then as time unfolded, I realised, “Oh.. I actually think that these setbacks are a sign that I am totally on track. I know how to roll with these and I can handle it. Every polarisation of dark takes me to a new expansion of light.”

I now know that this is the truth.

I shared these two graphs below at a recent Art of Feelings session that I held (see the Art of Feelings page if you feel curious as to what I mean by this). And thank you to Vishen Lakhiani and his book, ‘The Code of the Extraordinary Mind’ for the graph images.

The first graph reflects what I feel many of us have been taught to believe. That minimal disruption or discomfort indicates that you are a success. The less you feel, the more “stable” and “on track” you are. However, as can be seen, this leads to a very mediocre existence. Yes, you’re doing everything that you “should,” but there is not a lot of excitement and adventure. Where is the wonderment? (One of my new favourite words). It’s not much of a life crescendo if you ask me!

While slow and steady growth most certainly has it’s place, it is not a permanent way of life for those who want to move to the very depths and corners of who they are in the universe.

In my own experience, I have found that the most fulfilment and passion in life arises from taking certain risks of the heart and being brave. Choosing to do things differently and express yourself openly. Yes, it leads to some very dark moments, however, it also leads to so much life and vibrancy! The second graph below is in my opinion, a more accurate reflection of a deeply fulfilling and colourful life. And, as you can see, it really is an ongoing rhythm of setback and comeback, setback and comeback, setback and comeback.

If you are reading this right now and feeling like your life is more reflective of the graph below, this is what I have to say: “Yes! I see you! I am right with you. Keep going. I believe in you and admire your courage. I am right here doing the same. We are in this together.” Life – a full life – is only for the bravest. As Virgil noted, “Fortune favours the brave.” Keep going my Friend. I see your courage, I see your strength, and it is awe-inspiring.”

Oh, what a human you have become.

Big Things Are Happening

It’s been nearly two years since I have posted on this site. So much has happened in this time; for me, and I know also for you 🙂

Lately, I have been feeling a strong nudge to start sharing my insights more publicly again, as some pretty big things are happening and are about to happen.

What I have been noticing in my awareness recently, is that there is a huge amount of polarisation happening. Things seem to be more contrasted and dynamic, and at the same time, more harmonised than ever. The paradox feels intriguing and is stronger than anything of this nature that I have felt in my lifetime.

I’ve also been feeling how important it is, right now, to be aligned with your own truth, and to go within for your guidance. Things are about to get pretty rough, but at the same time, if you are tuned into your own guidances, you will find yourself in the eye of the storm. Surrounded by intensity and whirls of wind, but invigorated, strong, safe, and unshakable in the knowledge of who you are and the power that you hold. You are stronger than those external factors. In addition to this, you will not be alone. There are many of us who are strong and sure in our foundations, and who have known a time like this would come. It’s time for us to shine.

The coming days will see a strong polarisation of fear and love. Fear will become a driving for many (and already is), however, love will also be in full power. More than ever, this is the time to love, and when I say that, I mean love in a way that is harmonious and aligned to you. Whether you are an outgoing and a proactive advocate or a gentle and powerful breeze; whatever form you flow in, be true to that and know that your love has a ripple effect that is powerful even when you cannot see it with your physical eyes.

In saying all of this, I feel a sense of excitement and anticipation. My intention is to inspire you and uplift you; to fan your flame so that you may feel a stronger confidence in the beauty and power that you are. I think we have been preparing for this moment for most of our lives. You have everything you need. Step with confidence as each step is lit up. We are with you. In front of you, behind you, and beside you.

Just look at you shine 🙂

A Gentle Spark

My most recent recording.. a spontaneous moment of magic.

Warming up for my impending concert on Saturday 27th July.

Tickets are available at sarahshahtheevening.floktu.com

Love, Sarah.

..at the very least, they will like you.

I am in Sydney at the moment for some intensive psychology training. New experiences, new people. Away from most of my usual and familiar comforts, and mostly really enjoyable!

As the time has gone on, however, I find myself feeling things that remind me of when I was a teenager. In particular, the feeling that who I am is not ok, that I somehow have to be more extroverted, more exuberant, more animated, more witty, less intelligent, less gentle, more sociable, louder.. and the list goes on.

Memories of people saying things like, “You know, you’d be really pretty if you smiled,” or “when I first met you, I didn’t like you,” or “you’re smart but your ugly,” are resurfacing as I put myself into a situation I haven’t really been for a while. (Probably deliberately because of how bad I had felt in the past!) To add to that, I am also noticing how uncomfortable I am eating with people I don’t know well, and to be honest, I didn’t realise I was still feeling this so strongly!

I know these feelings are all remnants of my younger years, the eating disorders I’ve had, the social anxiety I have felt, the depression.. and yet, they still evoke reactions now. As I notice them arise (and they must if they are going to move on), I have gently reminded myself that this is old stuff, that I am different now, and that I am me and that is all I ever need to be.

Still feeling a little shaky, I sent Ben a message saying, “How can I feel happy knowing that I am likable today?”

His response: “Let others see that you love who you are, and at the very least they will like you.”

I felt so moved by this as I know it to be true. Self-love is all we ever need to focus on. When we love ourselves, we will love others, and others will love us.

It may not always look and feel the way we think it should, but it will always be true. Love attracts love.

Let’s make today and day for loving us.

User-Defined.

The past few days I have been finding it tricky to pinpoint exactly how I feel. I’ve been feeling tired, but there was more to it than that.

After bashing around with the feelings for a bit and attempting to convince myself that I felt ok and didn’t need to look more deeply, I FINALLY sat still. Oh how much can be seen in a still moment!

On the surface I thought I was ok, however, I had observed certain behaviours of mine that I know only come out when I am feeling less than my best. I think most people know what I’m talking about. Usually we stumble across these behaviours when we are young and they kind of just hang around. The way you can tell what these behaviours are for you specifically is how you feel about them when you engage in them. I know for me when I notice myself resorting to these behaviours more I feel sad. I feel angry at myself and feel like I should have more strength and conviction to refrain. I feel weak. Unworthy. I also tend to compare myself to others who I believe would NEVER do such things, and convince myself that I haven’t made any progress (usually this is SO far from the truth). The fact that we even notice is a sign we are progressing 🙂

I was attempting to define exactly what the feeling around these behaviours is. It’s not simply feeling tired. It’s more than that. It sort of feels like “I-can’t-be-bothered-ness”. It feels like complacency. “I-can’t-do-it-ness”. It feels lukewarm. Undecided. It feels like I have tried and failed to be absolutely aligned to my values 100% of the time (see how impossible this standard actually is!?) so what is the point? It feels like I’m tired of failing. It feels like feeling good and loving myself is just not worth it. Everyone else can do it just not me.

As I sat with this for a while I felt a light go on. First of all, let’s reframe this. We aren’t failing, we’re progressing. It’s always wobbly when you are breaking new ground. Secondly, these behaviours aren’t really what we would choose to do if we knew we were capable of choosing absolutely anything. They are sort of more just our default.

I looked up default. Failure to fulfil an obligation; a preselected option adopted by a computer program or other mechanism when no alternative is specified by the user or programmer.

Woah. Could it be that the default happens when we don’t choose options that promote us to thrive? Not choosing takes us to the same place as choosing the default directly because that is where we will end up if no better path is selected! It’s not really the current default itself that is the problem, it’s the fact that we haven’t defined clearly enough what we choose as our ‘anti-default’ or our preferred pathway. We need to be clear, know our reasons why, and see it playing out. We need to believe in our strength and be super dooper specific.

I’m excited.

To continue with the computer analogy I looked up in computer terms what one needs to do to change a default program. The answer? You need to be specific, customised, and user-defined. As one tech guy replied, “The moment you define them.. (as in the programs or pathways).. they are overwritten.” The way I connected this to life is that we need to define a pathway that is specific and customised to who we are and where we want to go from here. Our program needs to be detailed, it has to be “user” or self-defined, and it has to be written by us personally!

Seeing things this way inspired me! We just need to pay more attention to where we want to go from here rather than trying to resist where we know we don’t want to go. I’ve seen it like this before but now it makes even more sense. Let’s start fleshing out the new programs. Add in the details and see it playing out instead of the default any time we feel ourselves slipping into indifference. Once we do that we just need to trust the new program to “overwrite” and do it’s thing.. we will have created a new kinda default. One that we have customised and set to thrive.

 

Your Steps are the Perfect Ones for You

As humans, it seems like so much of our time is devoted to finding and implementing ways of improving ourselves. We grow, we change, we move, and we desire more for ourselves and those we love. Just like plants that grow taller or bigger, humans naturally want to do the same.

With this as as strong underlying drive it is only natural that we invest much of our mental and physical energy into this. Whether it be ways to improve our health, create more financial stability, spend more time travelling or being with friends and family, or improving a skill of some kind.. The list is limitless. There is always something else we could be a little bit better at or a little more focused with.

What occurred to me this morning though, is that sometimes in our desire to be better we try to jump too far too soon. We try to squeeze into places we aren’t quite ready for and rather than feel excited about our progress, we feel squeezed, tried, forced, and disconnected. Instead of being excited that we completed the next step of our journey, we feel sad that we are not ten steps further ahead. We tighten things around ourselves when we are not ready for it.

An example that comes to mind here is someone who wants to lose weight. Imagine they are two sizes bigger than they would like. They start to lose the weight and find that they can probably move to the next size down in clothing! Instead of being excited and celebrating their progress by buying clothes in this size, however, they go out and buy clothes that are TWO sizes down. They start trying to wear these clothes now and instead of feeling light and happy in their new skin, they feel uncomfortable, tight, and like they don’t quite fit. They’ve jumped ahead just a little too far. Instead of supporting themselves in their current progress and feeling excited and inspired to continue, they feel disheartened and depleted.

The point of this is to simply say, you are doing amazingly. Celebrate your progress and where you are now. Where you fit right now is beautiful and you will continue to move towards your goals in a natural way if you ease yourself into it. Loosen those reigns a little if they are feeling a bit tight and know that you are doing perfectly.

Your steps are the perfect ones for you 🙂 x

Own your Heart

“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”   Carl Jung

Continue to awaken my Friend. You are right on track 😉

Keep Going

“The only impossible journey is the one you never begin.” Tony Robbins

You’re doing it. Your strength is magnificent.

You Don’t Just Fall Back On The Bike ;)

I just had a really cool self-moment and wanted to share.

Today was one of those days where my energy felt so divided. It felt so half and half. I kept flicking from feeling focused, excited, and enlivened, to feeling totally overwhelmed, incapable, and unworthy. Eek! It was crazy!

One moment I would be on a roll, feeling good with the investment of my energy, then bam, next minute I would feel like I had fallen flat on my face with the wind knocked out of me (metaphorically).

As this happened over and over and OVER again I found myself thinking, “What the heck is happening?? How can this happen repeatedly in the one day even when I can see it?” It’s like I was powerless to stop the momentum of the repeated pattern.

Then it hit me.

“Sarah, it takes guts to keep getting back on that bike! And not only guts, energy and determination! The reason you keep falling off is because you keep getting back on! If you just gave up and lay in the dirt you wouldn’t fall off again but it also means you aren’t getting any better either. You don’t just fall back ON the bike. That is all you.”

Woah. When you look at it like that it is pretty darn cool. What was shame suddenly transformed to pride.

“I’m one of those people who keep getting back on the bike. I’m not just on the sidelines, I’m in the ring giving everything I have!” A Champion who won’t give up until the feat is mastered. I’m not sure if there is anything in the world I would rather be than that 🙂 Falling off gives us the opportunity to be a hero!

In case anyone else is feeling like they are falling off the bike over and over again, know that you are in the League of Champions! (A league I just made up! hee, hee..) While it doesn’t take much to fall off the bike – even just trying something for the first time is enough – getting back on requires guts, courage, and determination. Falling off isn’t shameful, it’s the way it works! haha. Sometimes you may need a rest for a while but  when the times comes to give it another go.. Be proud and give it all you’ve got!

One day you’ll be on a roll that just keeps rolling and there won’t be anything that can stop you. Getting back on will be just as simple as falling off..

Next step.. Motorbikes 😉

Transitions – PART 3

Transitions are funny in that sometimes in order to move forwards we must temporarily move backwards. Why is it that all of a sudden, the seeds we had planted are no longer responding to water and light, and what appeared to be a great season of harvest suddenly now looks like  – a barren stretch of desert?

I remember feeling this way many times until suddenly it dawned on me that perhaps this is what is meant to be happening! What if it is time for something new? What if these particular sprouts have grown all they can and now it is time for a new harvest? What if the season you are in brings with it the potential for a new type of produce? Yes, you may need to say goodbye to what used to grow well, but what about all the things you have always wanted to explore but never quite had the right conditions!? When you look at it this way it is kind of exciting.. and filled with possibility!

There is always a little stretch of time in between seasons and harvest where the fields are being prepared and the seeds sown. It may seem like nothing is happening, but all the work is going on underground. Strong and nourished root systems are being developed and pretty soon the evidence of this will appear above the surface. In some situations you may be able to minimise the downtime by timing when and how you grow your plants, however, once you decide to grow a totally new crop, there will always be that interim where it needs some time to grow.

It’s the same kind of principle when it comes to life. Some transitions may be fairly smooth. There may some moments in between harvest seasons, but if you’re growing a relatively similar crop, perhaps you have the transitioning down to a fine art. If, however, you are trying something totally new for you, it is almost impossible not to experience that unnerving waiting period where all you can do is nourish, water, and trust that all is happening as it should be.

If this is you, then celebrate! Harvest is almost here, and it will be something like you have never seen before! How marvellous!!!! You will look back and wonder how you ever doubted yourself, and will stand more proudly than you ever have before 🙂 Yes there may be some things to discover and work out in order to yield the finest results, but it will be so worth it. The old stuff isn’t growing anymore anyway, why not give this new season everything you’ve got?

Plant. Water. Nourish. Shine. Trust.